Murdoch, a word, plz

[Super Chad]

I am toying around with the idea of giving you a sub forum at the glorious Poofer Flame Forum.

Now, now. Before everyone gets upset and their panties twisted, look at it from my perspective;

Everything Murdoch has ever touched in this community has been a failure, and not a small one. They've all be big fails.

Now, yours truly has empathy. I think about the mental health of an unstable woman and think to myself "what could I possibly do to help this fucking clown actually be a success"?

Mental health is at the forefront in this landscape today. We all know that Murdoch's failures as a board proprietor are not only well known, but dare I say legendary. I am almost positive this has caused severe depression for her, that this illusion that she was some entity crumbled as quickly as her forum started to nose dive like a pregnant buzzard looking to take a healthy shit on someones head in the desert.

Murdoch, I'm offering you a rebrand of MMP on my great forum. I will bring the traffic, and here, you get an opportunity to show this community that you can actually hang with the big boys.

It's like your broken hymen has been super glued back together.

But, there are rules.

You can only post in your forum, nowhere else.

As many know, Flea will be a mod and driving force of TGPFF and she will get carte blanche as to what she wants. And since you two twerps have history, the best recourse is that you stay in your own lane.

Now, I don't want your database of nothing. This is a fresh start for your mental health and my first step in fixing the problems you buffoons started. The spiral notebook, your spiral notebook, is open with a fresh sheet of paper.

As you all can see, I am a kind man. Murdoch is a failure. Let's prop her up.

[Murdock]

It’s crack, isn’t it? you’re legit smoking crack

[Dovey]

Murd seriously. I've spent two days begging everyone at SG to not leave and run for this new message board.

To no avail! They are just all sitting over here hitting refresh just dying for this link so they can ditch SG and bolt over to Martinis new forum.

I've come here to beg them not too leave and to please bring traffick to SG so I dont have to be such a failed loser!

They are just dying the hero to bringing flaming back. Real flaming. Media flaming. Mostly people insulting all the posters Mart doesnt like lol.

[Super Chad]

It’s crack, isn’t it? you’re legit smoking crack

If I smoked crack, I wouldn't be creating the greatest flame forum on the internet.

I would be smoking crack.

This is your only chance at redemption.

See, Murdoch. I watched and marveled as the shit pit fell off the face of the internet and considered it a sad day for this community. MMP was like the maxi pad this community stuck between it's legs when forum flow was heavy. Sure, it wasn't needed per se, but it was there. And just like a maxi pad, when it was used up it received one of the greatest flushes down the toilet this community has seen.

Murdoch, you might not know this but your famous in this community.

In a similar way that Brent is famous. For your failure. And while Brent is actually proficient at flaming, your proficient at being a target.

We need more of you, MurdochV2.

Now, I first have to make sure Flea is cool with this idea, since she's gonna have a tremendous amount of pull there and we are working together to create as dynamic a flame forum as we can, but I see your failure with the shit pit and can fix a few things;

Taco Tuesdays with Murdy

Yoga pants- the enemy of fat girls featuring Murdoch
Murdoch- My shit smelt better when I was skinny. Why?

We can create the new and improved MMP into a fat girls paradise.

Cooking tips
Recipes
Salted/unsalted butter debates

The world is your oyster

I only offer once

[Murdock]

My 6th sense is kicking in... I’m starting to having visions... its
becoming more and more clear....

Mar~Teeny~Weenie is on the floor scrounging for his next hit when he stumbles upon what appears to be a piece of crack. There are some black speckles on it, so he thinks it’s laced with heroin... he holds it like a sparkling diamond as he scrambles to find the pookie in the midst of chaos that is the kitchen table. He lights the torch eager with anticipation for a taste, but the smell is unfamiliar... it’s not burning correctly... wait, oh what is this?!?!? What he thought was a crack piece is actually a hooker’s rotten tooth that fell out when she robbed him for a switch a few weeks ago

[Dovey]

To be far, he isnt that cool.

This is a guy who would take a nibble off an edible and then call an ambulance because his toe feels funny and he "isn't sure if he could die" lol.

[Dovey]

Its gotta be meth

Its like he is trying to gentrify the "community" even though no one really cares about this shit. Or even believes him lol.

[Super Chad]

Alot of deflecting going on here.

Murdoch, the good news is, you don't have to be seen as a failure any more. My glorious new Flame Forum won't die like yours did.

I am creating the ecosystem for this community to not only survive, but prosper. Surely this is french to you
(Grabs MMP lifespan leaflet, licks finger, flips one page, closes leaflet) but yes, a flame forum can survive in this current internet landscape.

As I superman fly thru the bandwidth it would be wise for you to grab onto my butt cheeks with all your might and come along for the ride. I can be your hero, baby.

[Dovey]

You are allowed to go to SG but you are not going to get a mod or admin spot and you are not bringing a bunch of teenagers from your weird....twitch/fortnight thing.

You dont have to hump FTs furnace with your never ending stream of butthurt, Kev.

I can let bygones be bygones. If you want to come over there, you can. It would help you to have a better sense of humor.

That goes for anyone here who wants to.

[Murdock]

... but... but... don’t you have to drive a hoarder jalopy to be a bonafide tweaker?

[Super Chad]

You are allowed to go to SG but you are not going to get a mod or admin spot and you are not bringing a bunch of teenagers from your weird....twitch/fortnight thing.

You dont have to hump FTs furnace with your never ending stream of butthurt, Kev.

I can let bygones be bygones. If you want to come over there, you can. It would help you to have a better sense of humor.

That goes for anyone here who wants to.

San, nobody wants to go there. You guys have turned that place into a shit hole, no offense. There's free speech and then there's that dump. I want no part of being intertwined with the rabble there any more then you wanted to be associated with BH, and honestly, I would rather be known as a former BH Mod then a former mod at SG.

(Burn)

I'm also, just like everyone here, well aware of my value to a forum and refuse to subject my brand of humor around a bunch of racist flatliners. Sorry, I'm not willing to be funny lumped into a vat of useless drivel, nor will I go back there and save that place from itself.
I was offered a panel at SG recently and turned it down, so there's that.

As for butthurt, commentary, which is pretty much what this forum is, isn't butthurt. It's commentary. I wouldn't be shocked the slightest if there's huge threads about yours truly at SG. Is that butthurt, too? Or is butthurt only a FT exclusive? I spend more time talking about video games then SG here, and once the forum is up and running Sunday if the powers that be comment here about it I would take that as a compliment and would actually listen to those who came before me what their opinion was instead of just screaming "butthurt" into the wind, but thats just me.

As for bygones...


I still beat tho

[Dovey]

Oh its butthurt alright. Regardless, that's exactly the consensus.

It's like a gotdamn menopausal tea party. All you do over here is whine about SG.

My darlin, what I said is you are welcome to come post at SG. But you are not getting a panel and you not bringing some rag tag group of teenagers from twitch.

I'm just saying, no one from this board is banned or unwelcome. If no one wants to come there that's cool too.

I just figured while you are over there instead of just filling up on whiney content to bring here and thumbs downing every post in the guest lounge, you are free to rant over there as well.

And yes, you "still beat tho". So did I "still beat tho". This isnt exactly front page news, is it?

[Super Chad]

Oh its butthurt alright. Regardless, that's exactly the consensus.

It's like a gotdamn menopausal tea party. All you do over here is whine about SG.

My darlin, what I said is you are welcome to come post at SG. But you are not getting a panel and you not bringing some rag tag group of teenagers from twitch.

I'm just saying, no one from this board is banned or unwelcome. If no one wants to come there that's cool too.

I just figured while you are over there instead of just filling up on whiney content to bring here and thumbs downing every post in the guest lounge, you are free to rant over there as well.

And yes, you "still beat tho". So did I "still beat tho". This isnt exactly front page news, is it?

Then we're all a bunch of fonzie's considering nobody here wants to go there. Not that it doesn't stop you from coming here to try and drum up interest in that grave yard.

No offense, but I get this strange feeling one side is trying a little too hard here and it's not FT, but that's just me. I don't blame SG tryhards one bit coming here.

As for rag tag twitch teenagers, you do know for this community to survive you need new members. The next generation is far more ruthless then the one dying slowly in this community and I highly doubt twitch trolls want anything to do with SG, no offense. So you and your ilk have nothing (lol) to worry about.

And why wouldn't I read the SG guest lounge? It's a fucking Poofer shrine. You really should rename it "The Martini Lounge" since it's pretty much dedicated to me.

Free advice worth diamonds

[Filthmuck]

Ask her if she's still got that bitchen forum archived somewhere, the one with all the bells and whistles she was trying ever so hard to convince Ceedub to fold the FT database into. After all, you already had a panel there and yours was the only forum getting any traffic when the hosting plan expired.

[Misaki Nakahara]

A large crowd followed and pressed around King Martini. A woman whose web site featured fractals and new age healing rocks was there. Her site sucked ass and she suffered shame and humiliation. After months with zero posts a day, it was taken over by erectile dysfunction spammers then gave up the ghost. When she heard about King Martini, she came up behind him in the crowd and placed her chin under his balls because she thought, "If i just get tea bagged by King Martini, I will receive a second chance at redemption and be able to clear my name. Immediately she lost 100 pounds of thigh gap fat and could see her vagina for the first time.


At once King Martini realized that forum draw card power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who rested their chin onto my balls?"

Then the woman knowing what had happened came and fell at his feet, trembling with fear, told him everything. KM said, "Dumbass, your faith in my 10k post a day powers has made you whole. Go in peace and post a titty selfie at my new flame forum.


While King Martini was still speaking some forum whore screamed, "My home forum, the Splooging Goofballs is dead!"

An apostle of KM thus spoke, "Why bother King Martini, let the dead bury the dead, he can do nothing for your site"

Overhearing what was said, King Martini said, "Don't be afraid, if you have faith in me, I will raise up what shitposters like Benzo have destroyed. I will drive out the racist garbage and bring new life to your pathetic website"

Km followed the forum harlot back to the Splooging Grounds, he spoke, "Why are all you forum losers crying and wailing loudly, what is all this commotion. This stupid, fake flame forum is not dead but asleep"

KM's disciples looked shocked, they said, "This site reeks of incompetence and is filled with racist goobley gook. It should be cast into the everlasting lake of fire and not given new life.

But KM shushed them, then he passed over the firewall and looked upon the Splooging Goofballs. He said to it, "Fetty Wap" (which means, fuck this shit, this site is worse than I thought, no wonder sister flea dropped it faster than a bad habit)

The forum xanax pusher named "Skeeeeeetch" asked King Martini, "Do what you can, please"

So King Martini lifted his robe and proceeded to piss on the Splooging Grounds. Then he spoke, "There, it is done!"

The others were amazed, and shouted, "Is our site saved?"

But King Martini admonished them, "Are you fucking kidding, your site is fucked in the ass, delete it!"

Then King Martini departed from their site.

[Super Chad]

Ribbon

[cw_]

[Super Chad]

Ask her if she's still got that bitchen forum archived somewhere, the one with all the bells and whistles she was trying ever so hard to convince Ceedub to fold the FT database into. After all, you already had a panel there and yours was the only forum getting any traffic when the hosting plan expired.

The viagra ads were my heavy hitters.