No announcement yet.

Movie Reviews

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    How about a film that stars SSS sitting in a comfy leather chair wearing nothing but a smoking jacket and reading Shakespeare's sonnets.

    That would be horrifying in a Toby Hopper Texas literature massacre kind of way

    It is what you don't see that makes a movie scary, not all the torture porn.


    • #17
      Only Japan and Takashi Miike can make a movie this crazy


      • #18
        The night eats the world

        yet another zombie flick that takes place in Paris but where everyone talks in English, if they talk at all, not much talking in this film

        best part is how this shit goes down which also serves as a way to survive a zombie outbreak

        the guy is at a party, gets sleepy drunk, retreats to an empty room and falls asleep on a chair. Wakes up next day and the house if splattered with blood and everyone is a zombie, the streets look like a bomb went off and no survivors in site. He retreats back to his apartment and the story proceeds from there. So to survive a zombie outbreak just fall asleep and wake up the next day when most of the chaos has subsided and society has collapsed in around the 8 hours you were asleep.

        That was a really fast zombie break and surrender but this is France, so what do you expect.

        Incident in a Ghost Land

        pretty decent "home invasion" horror that plays the "what the fuck is going on here" card.


        • #19
          As requested:

          Nekromantic 1 (1987)

          "A street sweeper who cleans up after grisly accidents brings home a full corpse for him and his wife to enjoy sexually, but is dismayed to see that his wife prefers the corpse over him."

          Do yourselves a favor by not reading IMDb reviews before watching a film that some consider *enter negative adjectives here*

          I'll start by stating that this gem has no rating, and as far as I know is that it most likely was never shown in American theaters. People don't understand that many of the special effects were intentional cheap props to keep its viewers in their seats. They certainly convey the messages they are meant to, and frankly gives watchers something else to complain about other than the sub-standard acting and script. And subtitles.

          One can complain about many of this film's shortcomings, but putting them all together takes very little away from the picture as a whole. The characters are fleshed out over much of the movie's running time, but the last twenty minutes or so really make it very memorable. Blair Witch did the same thing and its fantastic last three minutes make watching it worth the wait. Nekromantic resembles that very little while it somewhat slowly makes the two-part ending so great, which it is.

          Again, the audience was/is blown away by it and silently sit there without moving when the unknown names begin to scroll. I myself was too, but not in need of my box of lament that I pet almost every day. No need, because the final two acts indeed take another clever angle, explores necromancy in a way weirdoes hadn't considered before watching this winner. And isn't that great? Hollywood big budget films do not require their audiences to own crystal balls so they know what's coming. Even though they can look pretty and well written, predictable happy endings have made me sworn off theaters altogether.

          Well, Saw certainly did end with a very encouraging message. I hadn't read or heard anything about it and needed a place to hide for a few hours and sat down to watch a movie that is considered to be a horror, but is certainly not. I walked out with a bounce in my step after watching how important it is to live without giving up to any set-back, no matter how deep in a very unexpected way. Nekromantic even has a very interesting way about showing the class what necromancy can be without much telling. I'll never delete it from my utorrent list...

          - I'd gladly send it to you if the process doesn't compromise either of our identities


          • #20
            Nekromantic 2 (1991)

            "A female nurse desperately tries to hide her feelings of necrophilia from her new boyfriend, but still has pieces of the corpse of the first movie's hero in her possession."

            I guessed that this sequel would have been released months after its predecessor because it picks up right where the other left off. It reminds me of Resident Evil 2 where you beat it with Leon and get a short ending that tells you that you have to beat it with Claire to see what she went through in order to know what happened at the same time you were playing as the other character in the first run (it works both ways depending on who you choose to play first with).

            It begins perfectly, I say. Fuck yeah. Before the internet was specifically made and designed for myself, television and *shudders* tapes of movies had to be rented from some goddamn corporate rental goliath. Right by me, however, was a local place to do the same was/is still called I *heart* Video. They had the two Romantiks, they had Faces of Death, and later Traces of Death which plays heavy metal while showing animals and sometimes people be killed - awesome. Faces of Death is far more mature.

            I was sent to boarding military school when I was thirteen. A new teen who had already seen movies that the other trouble makers and fuck-ups who end up at a place like that so young. One introduced me to Danzig, which even put me aback regardless of seeing anything.

            Getting back to N2, the female character in the first hadn't changed a bit. Her new boyfriend walked into her place and saw her watching whales be killed, cut open, flayed for their valuable fat, etc. Mr Goody Twoshoes was upset about his new lady willing and wanting to watch such things. As in going out to rent it first. The stark contrast between their faces during that somewhat unimportant scene was really good at letting us know that she considered death as something that actually happens (she's a nurse), while the guy knows of it, but like almost all people, the thought of it alone terrified him. I'll go ahead and say he should've performed a practiced "about face" and walked right back out. He instead tried to understand, because who turns down a night of long blowjobs and choke-fucking their newest bitch? Huh?

            If you spot something off, something pretty wrong about your mate - bail - the sooner the better. This dude didn't and was a huge part of the blessing end of the film, which is outright exciting, bewildering, wild and wonderful, etc. Do yourself a favor by looking it up on IMDb either - the douche who drew the cover of the movie was such a huge spoiler that he needs to be part of N3...

            - no other movies are like these two, probably because they need their films to turn a profit


            • #21
              What Keeps you Alive. 2018

              Married lesbians celebrate their anniversary at some wooded cabin, cool. But Jackie aint right in the head, Poor Jules thinks she is just posing for a picture near a cliff when she fall down and go BOOM!

              And that is where the story kicks into horror/thriller. Starts slow then is a better than average survival horror with a minimal cast that keeps the suspense going. One of the better movies of 2018.

              Train to Busan

              Why are there all these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking train? South Korea does zombie movies better than the USA, a really good movie, just ask freud he saw it. Fuck the walking dead, watch this if you want a good zombie movie that you probably have not seen

              The Wailing (2016)

              Who is good and who is evil, who is trying to help a possessed child and who is making the situation worse. May need to watch twice to find out all that this movie has to offer. Really good. starts off as a detective murder mystery and then expands to the paranormal

              I Saw the Devil (2010

              A detectives revenge on a serial killer that does not go as planned, a really visceral movie about what one man will do to get bloody revenge and how it may have went to far. Another great South Korean movie like only they can make

              Alice, Sweet Alice 1976

              Brooke shields as a creepy kid who is a stone cold killer or just having a bad day, one of those older horror movies that deserves to be seen if you have not seen it already.

              Baskin 2015

              Fucking crazy ass movie you just have to see, cant even describe it. the little midget guy steals the show and is so dam eerie

              High Tension 2001

              French horror that is actually good, better than that torture porn Martyrs shit that is just plain overrated.


              • Madcow Klitzgasm
                Madcow Klitzgasm commented
                Editing a comment
                Train to Busan was an excellent zombie flick... loved the deer in it... and all the rest.

            • #22
              I'm going out on a limb here to talk about the striking contrast between The Green Mile and Saw. It's worth examining.

              The two films have completely different audiences because Saw looks like a horror movie while TGM stars Tom Hanks and prisoner who has an odd power of both saving living creatures and healing them by somehow sucking out their bad and blowing it out like convenient store cigar smoke, sorta. The people who watched that movie thought it was great until the very end, which is the exact opposite of Saw's. Let's just compare the two endings, which are both powerful to think about after they end:

              I'll begin with The Green Mile which is obviously a high budget with great special effects. It is based around such an interesting story that even Tom Hanks jumped on board during the height of his career. To get right to the point, which is a surprise at the very end, maybe with ten minutes left, Hanks reveals to his female friend that he is actually 106 years old. He then goes on sadly admitting he doesn't want it, as he has seen then deaths of all his old friends and family while he goes on and on and on thanks to the "blessing he received from the oddly power wielding convict on death row who has no business being there. Both aging and old people fear death, but saw that extended time on this planet is actually a curse. None of them like that ending.

              Now look at Saw, where it mainly just focuses on two guys chained up with very thick shackles and a couple hand saws that give neither a chance to free themselves by applying so hard earned elbow grease as some kind of great workout. Well, things don't exactly work out. Through the film they figure out who the other guy is, with the help of Jigsaw (the brilliant psychologist who REALLY helps his... patients) who also gives them clues about how to free themselves with a death clock ticking away in plain sight. The grimy bathroom they're trapped in would make for a great place for a girl to lose her virginity in.

              At its end, Saw delivers a start different view on living and cherishing every day while you're still alive, if you manage a way to free yourself from the many selfless deeds people have to do in order to survive, which are always based around why they're there in the first place. Not confusing but painful and thoughtful if you'd do whatever you had to do to make it out alive of whatever godless trap facility you're in.

              Now to compare the two endings without trying to spoil them if any of you haven't seen either movie, which would be cool to do after reading this number. TGM makes it an undeniable way to put living longer than people do or should while Saw makes it look like life is so precious to keep by doing some extremely things to fight for your own life while things look really bad when it begins. Saw Three does a great job of this premise too, so watch that one if you've already seen Saw but not Jumping two and landing on three which was made very well around a pain that everyone knows is a very real thing. I'll say no more about it.

              I just personally put the two films side by side one day and the light bulb that turned on inside my head almost permanently blinded me. Life is sad vs Life is undeniably precious and you'll do anything, if you can, to save yourself and from that point on living every day like a wet dream. I encourage you to add anything you came away with after watching both, possibly back-to-back would be a fun thing to do. They're both really worth a watch...

              - helpful


              • #23
                Must see fight movies

                The Raid:Redemption (2011) Cops fight to the top of a crime infested building, lots of fight scenes.
                The Raid 2 (2014) Good sequel
                IP man (2008)
                Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior (2003)
                Jackie Chan's Who Am I? (1998) Has that great roof top fight scene
                Chocolate (2008) Awesome girl kicking ass