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  • #16
    How about a film that stars SSS sitting in a comfy leather chair wearing nothing but a smoking jacket and reading Shakespeare's sonnets.

    That would be horrifying in a Toby Hopper Texas literature massacre kind of way

    It is what you don't see that makes a movie scary, not all the torture porn.


    • #17
      Only Japan and Takashi Miike can make a movie this crazy


      • #18
        The night eats the world

        yet another zombie flick that takes place in Paris but where everyone talks in English, if they talk at all, not much talking in this film

        best part is how this shit goes down which also serves as a way to survive a zombie outbreak

        the guy is at a party, gets sleepy drunk, retreats to an empty room and falls asleep on a chair. Wakes up next day and the house if splattered with blood and everyone is a zombie, the streets look like a bomb went off and no survivors in site. He retreats back to his apartment and the story proceeds from there. So to survive a zombie outbreak just fall asleep and wake up the next day when most of the chaos has subsided and society has collapsed in around the 8 hours you were asleep.

        That was a really fast zombie break and surrender but this is France, so what do you expect.

        Incident in a Ghost Land

        pretty decent "home invasion" horror that plays the "what the fuck is going on here" card.


        • #19
          As requested:

          Nekromantic 1 (1987)

          "A street sweeper who cleans up after grisly accidents brings home a full corpse for him and his wife to enjoy sexually, but is dismayed to see that his wife prefers the corpse over him."

          Do yourselves a favor by not reading IMDb reviews before watching a film that some consider *enter negative adjectives here*

          I'll start by stating that this gem has no rating, and as far as I know is that it most likely was never shown in American theaters. People don't understand that many of the special effects were intentional cheap props to keep its viewers in their seats. They certainly convey the messages they are meant to, and frankly gives watchers something else to complain about other than the sub-standard acting and script. And subtitles.

          One can complain about many of this film's shortcomings, but putting them all together takes very little away from the picture as a whole. The characters are fleshed out over much of the movie's running time, but the last twenty minutes or so really make it very memorable. Blair Witch did the same thing and its fantastic last three minutes make watching it worth the wait. Nekromantic resembles that very little while it somewhat slowly makes the two-part ending so great, which it is.

          Again, the audience was/is blown away by it and silently sit there without moving when the unknown names begin to scroll. I myself was too, but not in need of my box of lament that I pet almost every day. No need, because the final two acts indeed take another clever angle, explores necromancy in a way weirdoes hadn't considered before watching this winner. And isn't that great? Hollywood big budget films do not require their audiences to own crystal balls so they know what's coming. Even though they can look pretty and well written, predictable happy endings have made me sworn off theaters altogether.

          Well, Saw certainly did end with a very encouraging message. I hadn't read or heard anything about it and needed a place to hide for a few hours and sat down to watch a movie that is considered to be a horror, but is certainly not. I walked out with a bounce in my step after watching how important it is to live without giving up to any set-back, no matter how deep in a very unexpected way. Nekromantic even has a very interesting way about showing the class what necromancy can be without much telling. I'll never delete it from my utorrent list...

          - I'd gladly send it to you if the process doesn't compromise either of our identities


          • #20
            Nekromantic 2 (1991)

            "A female nurse desperately tries to hide her feelings of necrophilia from her new boyfriend, but still has pieces of the corpse of the first movie's hero in her possession."

            I guessed that this sequel would have been released months after its predecessor because it picks up right where the other left off. It reminds me of Resident Evil 2 where you beat it with Leon and get a short ending that tells you that you have to beat it with Claire to see what she went through in order to know what happened at the same time you were playing as the other character in the first run (it works both ways depending on who you choose to play first with).

            It begins perfectly, I say. Fuck yeah. Before the internet was specifically made and designed for myself, television and *shudders* tapes of movies had to be rented from some goddamn corporate rental goliath. Right by me, however, was a local place to do the same was/is still called I *heart* Video. They had the two Romantiks, they had Faces of Death, and later Traces of Death which plays heavy metal while showing animals and sometimes people be killed - awesome. Faces of Death is far more mature.

            I was sent to boarding military school when I was thirteen. A new teen who had already seen movies that the other trouble makers and fuck-ups who end up at a place like that so young. One introduced me to Danzig, which even put me aback regardless of seeing anything.

            Getting back to N2, the female character in the first hadn't changed a bit. Her new boyfriend walked into her place and saw her watching whales be killed, cut open, flayed for their valuable fat, etc. Mr Goody Twoshoes was upset about his new lady willing and wanting to watch such things. As in going out to rent it first. The stark contrast between their faces during that somewhat unimportant scene was really good at letting us know that she considered death as something that actually happens (she's a nurse), while the guy knows of it, but like almost all people, the thought of it alone terrified him. I'll go ahead and say he should've performed a practiced "about face" and walked right back out. He instead tried to understand, because who turns down a night of long blowjobs and choke-fucking their newest bitch? Huh?

            If you spot something off, something pretty wrong about your mate - bail - the sooner the better. This dude didn't and was a huge part of the blessing end of the film, which is outright exciting, bewildering, wild and wonderful, etc. Do yourself a favor by looking it up on IMDb either - the douche who drew the cover of the movie was such a huge spoiler that he needs to be part of N3...

            - no other movies are like these two, probably because they need their films to turn a profit


            • #21
              What Keeps you Alive. 2018

              Married lesbians celebrate their anniversary at some wooded cabin, cool. But Jackie aint right in the head, Poor Jules thinks she is just posing for a picture near a cliff when she fall down and go BOOM!

              And that is where the story kicks into horror/thriller. Starts slow then is a better than average survival horror with a minimal cast that keeps the suspense going. One of the better movies of 2018.

              Train to Busan

              Why are there all these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking train? South Korea does zombie movies better than the USA, a really good movie, just ask freud he saw it. Fuck the walking dead, watch this if you want a good zombie movie that you probably have not seen

              The Wailing (2016)

              Who is good and who is evil, who is trying to help a possessed child and who is making the situation worse. May need to watch twice to find out all that this movie has to offer. Really good. starts off as a detective murder mystery and then expands to the paranormal

              I Saw the Devil (2010

              A detectives revenge on a serial killer that does not go as planned, a really visceral movie about what one man will do to get bloody revenge and how it may have went to far. Another great South Korean movie like only they can make

              Alice, Sweet Alice 1976

              Brooke shields as a creepy kid who is a stone cold killer or just having a bad day, one of those older horror movies that deserves to be seen if you have not seen it already.

              Baskin 2015

              Fucking crazy ass movie you just have to see, cant even describe it. the little midget guy steals the show and is so dam eerie

              High Tension 2001

              French horror that is actually good, better than that torture porn Martyrs shit that is just plain overrated.


              • Madcow Klitzgasm
                Madcow Klitzgasm commented
                Editing a comment
                Train to Busan was an excellent zombie flick... loved the deer in it... and all the rest.

            • #22
              I'm going out on a limb here to talk about the striking contrast between The Green Mile and Saw. It's worth examining.

              The two films have completely different audiences because Saw looks like a horror movie while TGM stars Tom Hanks and prisoner who has an odd power of both saving living creatures and healing them by somehow sucking out their bad and blowing it out like convenient store cigar smoke, sorta. The people who watched that movie thought it was great until the very end, which is the exact opposite of Saw's. Let's just compare the two endings, which are both powerful to think about after they end:

              I'll begin with The Green Mile which is obviously a high budget with great special effects. It is based around such an interesting story that even Tom Hanks jumped on board during the height of his career. To get right to the point, which is a surprise at the very end, maybe with ten minutes left, Hanks reveals to his female friend that he is actually 106 years old. He then goes on sadly admitting he doesn't want it, as he has seen then deaths of all his old friends and family while he goes on and on and on thanks to the "blessing he received from the oddly power wielding convict on death row who has no business being there. Both aging and old people fear death, but saw that extended time on this planet is actually a curse. None of them like that ending.

              Now look at Saw, where it mainly just focuses on two guys chained up with very thick shackles and a couple hand saws that give neither a chance to free themselves by applying so hard earned elbow grease as some kind of great workout. Well, things don't exactly work out. Through the film they figure out who the other guy is, with the help of Jigsaw (the brilliant psychologist who REALLY helps his... patients) who also gives them clues about how to free themselves with a death clock ticking away in plain sight. The grimy bathroom they're trapped in would make for a great place for a girl to lose her virginity in.

              At its end, Saw delivers a start different view on living and cherishing every day while you're still alive, if you manage a way to free yourself from the many selfless deeds people have to do in order to survive, which are always based around why they're there in the first place. Not confusing but painful and thoughtful if you'd do whatever you had to do to make it out alive of whatever godless trap facility you're in.

              Now to compare the two endings without trying to spoil them if any of you haven't seen either movie, which would be cool to do after reading this number. TGM makes it an undeniable way to put living longer than people do or should while Saw makes it look like life is so precious to keep by doing some extremely things to fight for your own life while things look really bad when it begins. Saw Three does a great job of this premise too, so watch that one if you've already seen Saw but not Jumping two and landing on three which was made very well around a pain that everyone knows is a very real thing. I'll say no more about it.

              I just personally put the two films side by side one day and the light bulb that turned on inside my head almost permanently blinded me. Life is sad vs Life is undeniably precious and you'll do anything, if you can, to save yourself and from that point on living every day like a wet dream. I encourage you to add anything you came away with after watching both, possibly back-to-back would be a fun thing to do. They're both really worth a watch...

              - helpful


              • #23
                Must see fight movies

                The Raid:Redemption (2011) Cops fight to the top of a crime infested building, lots of fight scenes.
                The Raid 2 (2014) Good sequel
                IP man (2008)
                Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior (2003)
                Jackie Chan's Who Am I? (1998) Has that great roof top fight scene
                Chocolate (2008) Awesome girl kicking ass


                • #24
                  La Bamba

                  I'd rather watch this movie for the twentieth time than shit on your bird chest and rub it 'round and 'round over your hairy nipples before my buttox was satisfied, after which I'd take YOUR face to wipe it all off and out. Don't wanna stain my boxer undies. Again.

                  I don't like you, but I do really like this movie - La Bamba. It's a fucking drama so bail, BAAAIIIIIL from this thread if you're a real man with a bad back and older shoes than your grandchildren.

                  Where wa... right! La Bamba. As far I know, you little faggots think you know around town. K. Well, all ya gotta to do is DL the free version of uTorrent, and visit No bullshit - his were the most dependable uploads at TPB, which is now fucked harder than Ro's wife pegs his Goatse rimless contraband smuggler.

                  La Bamba is a straight up classic, no fuckin' around here. I don't watch lame dramas, I really don't. Good thing this one ain't lame. It has so many fucking pinky toes smashed against completely out of space small tables in unfamiliar territory (which is fucking sad, whoever is reading this, and whose lips just tightly pursed).

                  This one is the rillah, no bullshit. It's not action packed, but ouch it has many scenes that do in fact happen to about 99% of American families, like yours, sucko. Fuck you. And me. There's little-to-none ridiculous made-for-movie faggotry. None!

                  None, and it can actually bring you inside the film itself. Kill and woman, children, or pets if they disturb you while this one is a'rollin'. It's cool from well, how 'bout it GG (Allin), how does this shit/life go? "Drink, fight, and fuck!" Amen brother. Fuck no I ain't paying your laughably small bond right before you hit the tracks (train) again.

                  You can't just quickly DL it and skip right to the end to feel what I'm gettin' at here, the full films time is worth it. Promise. Sure, A Christmas Story was shot in Canada to make it feel more realistic as an American memory of the past. La Bamba is an honorable All American shot, goddammit.

                  Family friendly film? Sure, although it's gonna pull hard. You yourself, it's kinda like The Road (film production, anyway), forcing you to rub the twerps in the right places in the right directions, fuckin' noob.

                  Parting shot: Do eeeeeeet mang. I'm not a fan of dramas at all, but this one keeps my childlike attention more than most others, with a genuinely crushing ending, like Irreversible (sorta), that leaves you silent and empty for some time afterwards, especially is if you watch it alone...

                  - don't make me go full-Brent by trolling around this thread claiming it sucked


                  • #25
                    The Girl in the spiders web

                    no fucking idea what the series is about, just watched it because i spent 30 minutes down loading it.

                    It was OK.

                    Bohemian Raspberry

                    Nope, too boring, stopped watching after 5 minutes

                    Once Upon a deadpool

                    thought it was a new movie, its just a PG version of deadpool 2 with lots of talking. Lame

                    Boy Erased

                    Gay kid goes to a "get the gay: out day camp like place. All the counselors act like raving gays holding back their gayness

                    Kinda creepy in a cult like way with all these gays trying to stop being gay

                    it did not seem to work

                    Bumble bee transforrmers movie

                    Ohh hell nooooooooo, not another one of these fucking transformer movies, did not even bother to download that shit.

                    (John Cena was in it, that makes the movie even worse than it can possibly be)

                    Hunter Killer

                    a coo coo in russia leads to chaos, US special forces sent in to clean shit up, starts slow then the head shots begin. Better than expected


                    • #26
                      Susperia remake

                      what the fuck? Good reason not to remake movies that really do not need to be remade.

                      watch Witching & Bitching 2013 instead for a crazy movie about crazy ass witches or just watch the original Susperia.


                      • #27
                        City of God

                        I'm nervous about tomorrow, Superbowl Sunday. Most Americans gather up with friends and family to watch the game with most people laughing to love feeling the intense feeling during close games. I've placed a bet on the game so I already tingle. In my balls. So I needed to get my brilliant mind off the money for the night and right after I placed my bet I needed to clear my fuckin' head so I won't wake up tomorrow morning with a hangover and a new large ulcer, which makes drinking coffee impossible. Enter City of God.

                        Seriously, I want all of you broke losers to go there to fit in for the first time in your pitiful lives, then killed within a month for no reason. Anyway, the people trapped in that and other hellholes change, not much else does in a Super 'Hood. City of God shows its viewers exactly that, in top notch form and style as movies go. It's worth every second of attention you spend watching this gripping film that leaves you cold and quiet when it ends. It does.

                        True ghettos in lawless parts of the world are places where guns, drugs, rape, and theft happen so often it's not even trying to keep up with because collecting genuine data about the above events would literally impossible, and this movie is a brilliant show of just that. Hoodlums and gangers shoot people all the time, so do the cops without even bothering to attain them and ask the questions before going to court where fellow dirt poor people would be either too scared and be proud about voting Not Guilty for some "love" in return. Everyone just shoots.

                        "Don't let your kids forget to take their guns to school" ~ GWAR

                        I'm a such a good guy I can't keep pounding this review out, because spoiling this gem would make posters here would think less of me in this fine, blue collar hotel where my fucking blue-rare fillet was so over cooked it didn't even bleed in my mouth by the bite. It did say "moo". Really though, don't read other reviews of this film because those fags might reveal a small scene where one tells another that she should let her husband fuck her shithole while stuffing a "warmed banana" up her cunt at the same time...

                        - Wanting more than having two pumpable holes is a rare thing buuuuutt


                        • #28

                          It was hinted at me that I've done some reviews I'd done before, even mainstream like the ones you may have read. Like I forgot to pull the four foot flexible dildo out of my mouth before beginning. Not this *cough* time. Not this time.

                          To start this largely unknown film's review, I'll tell you all that the budget to make it was so small that the man behind it all needed a male lead actor and convinced his own brother to do it. Then again, to me movies aren't about special effects at all, it's the story that unfolds via camera and dialogue that keep me from sending my complaints about it to the studio I stole it from.

                          Combat Shock is shot in New Jersey, one of the worst parts of a city that always checks in as a top five Worst Cities in America lists. That's where Vitriol was born. Now, staying in Vietnam to eat dog and play Russian roulette for hefty sums, like $5 American dollar per pull would've been my choice over coming back home to Jersey. No question.

                          Poof, thief, murderers (Iron Duke) is pretty much all that goes on in our warm hearted hero's neighborhood. Thuggery, prostitution, the second worse marriage this side of Attention Whore. You like dark humor? You'll pick up on the sardonic relationship between the two. So he's gotta get outta the fuckin'... dwelling he struggles to stay in legally? The streets is where money can be either found or earned, and neither is easy. Dunno know which.

                          Cutting this review short is because I've already said too much. Feeling like shit for whatever reason? Go ahead and download this dark gem for the ability for you old folks to actually wake up with a hard on since you heard the news about Kennedy being shot in the head in Texas...

                          - why the fuck not, eh?


                          • #29

                            Bizarre. Hilarious. Shocking. This one's got it all and then some, like a sex scene where the chick's tits come up and her nipples are round and puffy. Oh yes, she looks like a high schooler from the start.

                            So you like movies that are overly non-stop ridiculous for an hour-and-half? Replace the film's name and tattoo yours on its tit. Weed grown outside sucks, fulla seeds, yada-yada. This weed? It's grown outside too, right by a nuclear energy plant! Plant + plant + high schoolers turned inexplicable makes time fly right by. I wish I could find someone who could find that something, cost irrelevant.

                            Hold up, Imma hit this joint I just rolled perfectly, challenge anyone who outwardly claim to be great at it. After the side-by-side works of art are compared, s/he would rather suck my dick than the weed Texas is stuck with since all our master growers left for legal hills. Skiing green bunny humps stoned and drunk as your father was when he fucked THAT (your mom), is a fucking blast!

                            The chance that was actually taken to make this movie is humbling. I mean, they threw all the shit their crew could gift an anonymous wall with and it all stuck. Every last vegan one. They won. The Toxic Avenger (1) is Troma's best film, but this one is so crudely wacky and hilarious I just needed to tell you ghosts that this movie is worth a rip/watch/become instantly cool - you get the picture I'm paintin' here, and once the deed is done you will be a worse person, which is good in 2019...

                            - you'd rather watch me dance


                            • #30


                              The tits in this movie are useless.