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  • Game of Groans

    $#@&^: Put your hand on an old issue of Nugget magazine and do that t'ing ya gotta do.

    SSS: Yeth thuuur. By making this thread about an overproduced, over-hyped show that doesn't even have any niggers in it, is the same thing as telling everyone that I have the unknown dick size of a 400lb man.



    The directors and whoever the fuck else had to make the show interesting because Feast for Crows and the following book were so goddamn terrible that dramatic changes had to be made. I won't even get into that. So how about I do something worse than starting a thread about the show by using mathematics to begin our short lived conversation?

    So the dragon lady hears her dickless army attacked an empty, undefended castle while the Lannisters went down and scooped up all the necessities they need, such as food allotments per green card holding peasants and her army, and all the loot she needed to regain The Bank's support - a nice new financial start.

    Lets get a little mathy now. During the transportation of necessities for either army and the needy in King's Landing, the good guys find themselves caught in the open by a larger force with a dragon. The Lannister army aligns themselves horizontally making them the X1 line which they had to do in order to protect all of their pretty white horses - understandable.

    As those hair obsessed, language-less duurs whose family trees wound up posting at TRF charged the good guys in a similarly strung out X line, the dragon swoops in vertically (Y) and burns a hole right through the center of team X1, so X2 got to run right through the center; half going that way and the other half going the other way to form two nice pincer techniques.

    The worst part of it all, after Jamie's mid-battle time-out swim, was that the stupid bitch on the dragon had her pet fly behind X1 to scorch everything she needed in the first place! Why the FUCK would you torch all the food and gold that the good guys borrowed with noble intentions for!? She could've cooked the goodies while her TRFers took control of the much needed packed wagons and attain all she needed for her future endeavors. She cooked 'em. All of them. The fuckin' people plodding down the horse train down the only road were obviously killed in their sleep. What an atrocity.

    The cun`T, like ours, gets nothing. When she could've had it all: killing all the good guys, stealing their humanitarianly needs of the people, and jack the gold the Queen was going to hand right over to The Bank for her country's reckless precursors right in the middle of a war.

    *sniff, wipe*


    Pet Keeper's soldiers sure are hungry after a major battle - what will they eat? She also intends to purchase large siege armaments along with some other wickedcoolshit to serve her kind enemies.

    I know for a fact that the dumb blond who returned to her homeland because we were told by an old witch that in Season one, or book one, that the beautiful beloved queen would lose all her kids and be replaced by a prettier blond in the a future - leaving no questions about what will soon happen: Washerface beats the good guys before joining the Northerners, discovering Jon is half-Tarjgj,gg and they get married and the credits roll. How much tension could anyone not posting at TRF still have to hold onto for another few years, a cum covered hardened teddy bear? Jesus...



    SSS
    - you don't have to admit you watch that show



  • #2
    Mmmm, I'd heard the transition from page to screen had been markedly butchered in the translation, much as your effort of screen to page suffered. Gold you say? ALL the gold was announced as being safely through the gates of Kings Landing fully four minutes before the first dragon belch toasted the Lannister's tootsies, so where you got the idea that the Mother of Lizards contrived to vaporise the treasury in transit is anyones guess. Pay attention son, it's good military strategy to be properly informed.

    Otherwise "meh". She could have had it all, except she listened to (wait for it) ...a LANNISTER ....who encouraged her to set a better example than the syphillis-ridden sibling-fucking good guys who went before her. This more than anything cost her her the armies AND the nobles of two key allies, not to mention the gold that could have been hers. Should have just pointed the job lot at Kings Landing and butchered the lot when she had the chance. Kind of like I like to do when playing retro releases of games like Command and Conquer. There's nothing quite so satisfying as seizing control of all the main Tiberium fields and letting the two AI players duke it out between themselves for control over what's left while you're pumping all your dough into training entire legions of cyborgs and rocket infantry along with entire battalions of artillery and squadron after squadron of banshees and harpies, then marching the lot into the enemy camp with all guns blazing, raining down death from above, pumping missile after missile into key military installations and utterly swamping the fuckers in general. Plenty of time afterwards to be nice to the one or two you let live, just for the purposes of seeing what kind of a high score you amass when the silos start filling up.

    But the biggest tragedy by far goes not to the bimbo Danny's late arrival, nor even the cruddy aim of the unwashed bum who dropped his sac after wasting two perfectly good hunks of metal failing to spear the almighty fire breathing lizard between the eyes. Nope, line honours for the award goes to the directorial dickless wonder for not yelling "CUT!!" on the episode twenty seconds before he did, thereby totally avoiding some badly needed cliff hanger suspense into what has so far been a pretty dull season overall.

    ​Sloppy. I give the episode a three out of ten... and you a donut to gob on or punch your cock through, whatever takes your fancy. Now if you don't mind, I'm off to count my treasury. Which for the record made it into my greedy little paws AND into the coffers of my financial institution with a great deal more than four minutes to spare before you cavorted up on your iguana JubbJubb and started vomiting last night's Taco Bell all over the proceedings.

    ps: Blood Drive is better.

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    • #3
      Blood Drive, The Walking Dead and spinoff, People of Earth, Westworld, Killjoys, The Expanse, even Outlander...all decent shows... GOT's just repetitive shite.

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      • #4
        GOT has characters that have great stories within the series.

        My favorite is "The Hound" and his adventures. Fuck the king. Plus the actor who plays him really is a perfect fit for the role. I never read the books so i just go with it.

        As for the walking dead. The ratings have been dropping. I find they have a bad guy of the week. Notice the Governor, they stretched out his menace and threat to Rick and Co. over 2 seasons.

        Negan will probably be stretched out 3 seasons at the rate they are going. The early seasons were better focused and they killed of good characters who were played by actors i really liked

        RIP Shane.

        Now you have one or two episodes that really stand out when they focus on a certain group member like Morgan etc. But the zombies are basically irrelevant, Maggies's pregnancy pains are a bigger threat than these zombies. It has become more like Mad max thunderdome with little survivor factions fighting each other and the zombies just wander though the sets.


        And do we have enough gay people on TWD? Seems every series needs to contain whatever mix that the new world order decides, do we have a sympathetic muslim? Enough blacks, asians, spanish? Need a disabled person too. Hey is that guy/gal transgender? He could be. How about the Native Americans, noooo, they always seem to neglect them.

        And i hate cameos by non actors like comedians or singers. That means you Ed Sheeran who was on GOT. Stevie Nicks on AHS coven was ok though.




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        • #5
          Alright Ro, your idea for the end of that episode would indeed be a great cliffhanger: Bran firing that huge crossbow at the dragon with a brightly lit up face showing that hot horror was on its way.

          Bran is one of the seediest bastards on the show so I may have closed my eyes tightly at the end you came up with, sadly assuming/knowing that Bran didn't kill that bird (the dragon or the whore?) and he would end up on a rotisserie so the TRFers could finally eat something besides eachother's assholes seconds after the shit comprised of other's shit was crimped off...




          SSS
          - a Grouchy Chef appetizer
          Last edited by admin; 10-21-2017, 09:07 PM. Reason: Image removed by admin

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Captain Uhaul Bendigo View Post
            Blood Drive, The Walking Dead and spinoff, People of Earth, Westworld, Killjoys, The Expanse, even Outlander...all decent shows... GOT's just repetitive shite.
            Blood Drive is an excellent recreation of the nearly dead Grindhouse genre and that's no bad thing. Some may find the acting a little over the top, but that's part of the attraction really. I was hooked from Colin Cunningham's opening remarks ( s01e01 - The Fucking Cop (opening sequence).mp4 ) - the obvious contempt for Jersey and the dismissal of everyone watching the show as "mouthbreathers" had me laughing within the first ten seconds of the show. An auspicious start. FZirst impressions are the lasting ones.

            Game of Thrones... I dunno. I've been following it and at seven seasons in I suppose I'll follow it through to its grisly conclusion even if it is massively overhyped. I find myself hoping that a fair few of the cast will fall prey to the White Walkers, especially if it means that the zombiefied corpses of Sansa and Cersei go the growl on each other while the three dragons take turns spearing those sluts rotting axe wounds with their spiky tails and Arya tears her face off to reveal herself as a drooling Rotwang before spunking his load across the lot. HBO execs owe us that much I feel.

            Originally posted by Regan Macneil View Post
            As for the walking dead. The ratings have been dropping. I find they have a bad guy of the week. Notice the Governor, they stretched out his menace and threat to Rick and Co. over 2 seasons.

            Negan will probably be stretched out 3 seasons at the rate they are going. The early seasons were better focused and they killed of good characters who were played by actors i really liked

            RIP Shane.
            Shane was a cunt. I was glad to see the back of him, All these seasons later and I miss the guy; he had more depth to his character than the rest of the cast did by the time Negan showed up. The whole series pretty much went to shit after Terminus, so much so that I couldn't be bothered reading the graphic novels that spawned them at this point. Way to destroy the franchise AMC (or Aunty Mabel's Cuntwash as I like to refer to them).

            Originally posted by SirSuperSouthern View Post
            Alright Ro, your idea for the end of that episode would indeed be a great cliffhanger: Bran firing that huge crossbow at the dragon with a brightly lit up face showing that hot horror was on its way.

            Bran is one of the seediest bastards on the show so I may have closed my eyes tightly at the end you came up with, sadly assuming/knowing that Bran didn't kill that bird (the dragon or the whore?) and he would end up on a rotisserie so the TRFers could finally eat something besides eachother's assholes seconds after the shit comprised of other's shit was crimped off...
            Mate, at this point I'm not even convinced you were watching the same TV series as I was, or that you were so high on glue at the time that you'd tripped over on your marbles and cracked your head open on the coffee table. Bran wasn't in the final sequence and you're just embarrassing yourself.

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            • #7
              Eh? The last, oh, ten minutes or so, Bran shot the bird down by clipping its shoulder before he dove off the contraption which was immediately engulfed in flames.The last bit after that showed Jamie doing the backstroke, spitting water high into the air.

              The large crossbow was revealed the episode before last Sunday's, proving it could shoot through dragon bone. So the ending of Sunday's episode you came up with sounds good to me: Bran seen firing a large bolt off for the first time at a live dragon while flames were already headed his way and *BANG*! Credits roll. Nice.

              The viewers could be left in a spiff, not knowing which one killed the other or both would never be seen in action again, a real cliffhanger. I thought that what was where you were going, with them making a more climactic ending with two of the much seen characters play Life-or-Death.

              It was better than the one they came up with of Jamie cooling himself off because while beautiful, his armor is hot and heavy after so much movement in it. Taking a short break like he did gives viewers a good thing to tell their bosses when caught loafing...


              SSS
              - *scratches his lazy ass*

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              • #8
                Originally posted by SirSuperSouthern View Post
                Eh? The last, oh, ten minutes or so, Bran shot the bird down by clipping its shoulder before he dove off the contraption which was immediately engulfed in flames.
                Bran, my dear boy, was crippled in the first season falling out of a window after watching Jamie fucking Cersei up at Winterfell. He then spent the better part of the intervening being humped around the countryside by a hulking moron who would asthmatically wheeze "Hodor" at regular intervals and now spends his days in a wheelchair hellucinating delusions of grandeur about being the spirit god of the three eyed raven.

                Would you like to buy a vowell?

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                • #9
                  Bran... Bronn... what color is that ribbon stapled over your bald spot, Heady?

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                  • #10
                    I wondered how long it was going to take you.

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                    • #11
                      i never saw Blood Drive I just heard the name and thought it was another True Blood or like that Movie Repo Men but where they were re possessing body parts like livers and hearts.

                      if they have it on demand i will have to watch the first episode

                      i hate watch the walking dead now, none of the character really inspire much emotional connection . I would be more distraught if they killed that tiger than if Michoone gets sodomized by negan's bat. It's all just overly melodramatic situations with Rick having multiple breakdown and then finding "himself" again.

                      And poor Carl lost an eye for all this shit, now he has to wear that eye patch and spend all that extra time in the FX make up chair each episode.


                      random horror movie recommendation, Feast (2005) and the sequels

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                      • #12
                        i have not watched this seasons GOT episodes yet, i just download them to watch later , glad to hear my pal Bran Stark was not shooting at Daenerys dragons, i was reading that bit and wondering why is he doing that and how, he can't even walk. i guess jaime lannister is still alive....i wish Margery Tyrell was still alive, Natalie Dormer was hot.

                        as long as the Hound survives this season all is good, people thought he was dead when arya stark left him at the bottom of that hill, but he was just too hard to kill

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Regan Macneil View Post
                          i never saw Blood Drive I just heard the name and thought it was another True Blood or like that Movie Repo Men but where they were re possessing body parts like livers and hearts.
                          fillerup.mp4


                          Well I guess blood is technically a "body part".
                          Attached Files

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                        • #14
                          I;m on season 7 after binging, pretty good fun.

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                          • #15
                            Don't watch it? Didn't read the first three books (2 & 3 were fabulous)? Watch this, fuckface:

                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqT22PlqnUA


                            SSS
                            - "nothing else matteeeeeeeers"

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